- locked -
- locked -
Ok. Survived hospice meeting. Omg, my mother cannot keep her mouth shut. She cannot not be the center of attention. She even tried to mess with me and I just said nope, hospice is here to talk with dad, we're here to listen. (See: things which should not be a burn but are a burn)
Besides, what the hell am I going to say? My mother is a controlling bitch? My father is ill and sometimes his recollections are not precise, especially as he becomes untethered from time? She STILL had to say something that could have sabotaged my dad's care, just so she could look important and in charge. She was actually unhappy that I did not butt in and talk a lot.
P.S. It turns out my crazy SIL gave my dad some "natural" spray oil thing with CBD in it. Which isn't even for what she gave it to him for (she apparently said it was for pain, and it's specifically for muscle aches, which is seriously stretching a point, here). My dad took it out and asked the doctor if it was actually good for anything or safe and basically it's harmless. It's just a very emollient rich mix of oils - jojoba, coconut, a bunch of others including cbd oil. It's purely topical, though. Even if it had a high enough drug content to do anything, which is extremely doubtful, it isn't going to do it as a topical oil you rub on your skin. So much #helping.
And then my mother has to be all why am I not in this conversation, why am I not controlling what he says and what he is doing, why didn't he ask me, talk to me, get my permission first? And pipes up with where did you get that?! I turned around and said you know where he got it. Then she was all, oh, yes, my daughter in law, etc. Talk talk talk yay! Now I'm part of the conversation!
Christ, I'm tired and disgusted.
P.P.S. She literally takes issues around my dad's meds not as things to be managed for his comfort and care, but as things for her to control. She has to say something no matter what my dad says because she regards it as a question of her and her control (she calls it management) and a criticism or attack on her. So of course her response is well, I'm going to make him do things.
It won't matter, but I much appreciated it when the doctor said let him experiment with what works for him, here are some options of things he can do. He even said it's up to my dad.
She hates that. She can't function like that. I swear she wants him drugged and under her control if she can't have him fully healthy and independent. Plus, she has to have some rigid, defined rules and can never deviate from them, even if it's causing harm. See, she followed the rules, so she's right and doesn't have to feel badly because it's the rules' fault if it's not ok.
Sigh.
Ok. Survived hospice meeting. Omg, my mother cannot keep her mouth shut. She cannot not be the center of attention. She even tried to mess with me and I just said nope, hospice is here to talk with dad, we're here to listen. (See: things which should not be a burn but are a burn)
Besides, what the hell am I going to say? My mother is a controlling bitch? My father is ill and sometimes his recollections are not precise, especially as he becomes untethered from time? She STILL had to say something that could have sabotaged my dad's care, just so she could look important and in charge. She was actually unhappy that I did not butt in and talk a lot.
P.S. It turns out my crazy SIL gave my dad some "natural" spray oil thing with CBD in it. Which isn't even for what she gave it to him for (she apparently said it was for pain, and it's specifically for muscle aches, which is seriously stretching a point, here). My dad took it out and asked the doctor if it was actually good for anything or safe and basically it's harmless. It's just a very emollient rich mix of oils - jojoba, coconut, a bunch of others including cbd oil. It's purely topical, though. Even if it had a high enough drug content to do anything, which is extremely doubtful, it isn't going to do it as a topical oil you rub on your skin. So much #helping.
And then my mother has to be all why am I not in this conversation, why am I not controlling what he says and what he is doing, why didn't he ask me, talk to me, get my permission first? And pipes up with where did you get that?! I turned around and said you know where he got it. Then she was all, oh, yes, my daughter in law, etc. Talk talk talk yay! Now I'm part of the conversation!
Christ, I'm tired and disgusted.
P.P.S. She literally takes issues around my dad's meds not as things to be managed for his comfort and care, but as things for her to control. She has to say something no matter what my dad says because she regards it as a question of her and her control (she calls it management) and a criticism or attack on her. So of course her response is well, I'm going to make him do things.
It won't matter, but I much appreciated it when the doctor said let him experiment with what works for him, here are some options of things he can do. He even said it's up to my dad.
She hates that. She can't function like that. I swear she wants him drugged and under her control if she can't have him fully healthy and independent. Plus, she has to have some rigid, defined rules and can never deviate from them, even if it's causing harm. See, she followed the rules, so she's right and doesn't have to feel badly because it's the rules' fault if it's not ok.
Sigh.
Oh, darling. All my support. And good for you and your dad for speaking up.
ReplyDelete