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- mild locked -
WARNING - deeply unpleasantness about situation with my mom about my dad - and planning funerals and my mother, in spite of neither being nor speaking Italian, waging a vendetta against my dad, me, and my siblings.
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I am not even really sure what to say, here, except that my mother randomly started a slightly bizarre conversation about planning a funeral and then openly stated that none of this is about my father, it's about her resentment towards my dad and us and her twisted relationship with my dead uncle. I don't think I gave her a sufficiently coldy angry glare at that moment.
She is STILL totally wrapped up in and motivated almost exclusively by her resentment over our unwillingness to say it was a-ok to not only get involved with that man, but to spend 10+K dollars on him and get financially and legally involved which took money out of my parents' joint retirement monies and put the family in financial and legal jeopardy. And a bunch of other unilateral things she did to my dad while he was ill.
She is going to have certain things done when my dad dies because this is her last chance to stick it to my dad. She doesn't give a shit about being comforted over his death. She was "cheated out of her comfort" over my uncle's death, so she's gonna get hers when my dad dies. Hers at least partly being getting all the attention for being a poor, bereaved person. They'll think it's because she's a widow, she'll know it's because she didn't get to put on this show for my uncle.
Oh, and there will be no estate when she dies. We should know that, per her. She's so deranged that she is going to spend any money on I'm not sure what just to make sure we don't get it. Because apparently, we weren't sufficiently loyal since we didn't support her involvement with that abusive criminal. Which, yet again I state for the record she said HERSELF she should not get involved and specified not legally, not financially. And then went and got deeply and inextricably involved.
And has apparently spent the last 4 years nursing a resentment that would make comic book villains proud. I don't know what to say about someone who does this. She cares more about her dead disaster of a human being brother (actual criminal and abuser) than about her husband of 50+ years who literally saved her life twice, not to mention not leaving her in spite of her being deathly ill for 15 out of the first 20 years of their marriage, not to mention saving my life once and my brother's life repeatedly in literal and non ways. Ice.Fucking.Cold.
It was a slip. She didn't mean to just put this out there. It's not like I thought she was an awesome human being anymore, but this is somehow over the edge sick. Like, idk, if she wasn't my mother I think I'd have tossed her in the 100% garbage person bin at this point. What am I supposed to do with this? Not for her, for me. Somehow, I have to process this and then I have no idea what.
Somebody please tell me what the heck I'm supposed to be doing to process this. Seriously. I can't even with this.
WARNING - deeply unpleasantness about situation with my mom about my dad - and planning funerals and my mother, in spite of neither being nor speaking Italian, waging a vendetta against my dad, me, and my siblings.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I am not even really sure what to say, here, except that my mother randomly started a slightly bizarre conversation about planning a funeral and then openly stated that none of this is about my father, it's about her resentment towards my dad and us and her twisted relationship with my dead uncle. I don't think I gave her a sufficiently coldy angry glare at that moment.
She is STILL totally wrapped up in and motivated almost exclusively by her resentment over our unwillingness to say it was a-ok to not only get involved with that man, but to spend 10+K dollars on him and get financially and legally involved which took money out of my parents' joint retirement monies and put the family in financial and legal jeopardy. And a bunch of other unilateral things she did to my dad while he was ill.
She is going to have certain things done when my dad dies because this is her last chance to stick it to my dad. She doesn't give a shit about being comforted over his death. She was "cheated out of her comfort" over my uncle's death, so she's gonna get hers when my dad dies. Hers at least partly being getting all the attention for being a poor, bereaved person. They'll think it's because she's a widow, she'll know it's because she didn't get to put on this show for my uncle.
Oh, and there will be no estate when she dies. We should know that, per her. She's so deranged that she is going to spend any money on I'm not sure what just to make sure we don't get it. Because apparently, we weren't sufficiently loyal since we didn't support her involvement with that abusive criminal. Which, yet again I state for the record she said HERSELF she should not get involved and specified not legally, not financially. And then went and got deeply and inextricably involved.
And has apparently spent the last 4 years nursing a resentment that would make comic book villains proud. I don't know what to say about someone who does this. She cares more about her dead disaster of a human being brother (actual criminal and abuser) than about her husband of 50+ years who literally saved her life twice, not to mention not leaving her in spite of her being deathly ill for 15 out of the first 20 years of their marriage, not to mention saving my life once and my brother's life repeatedly in literal and non ways. Ice.Fucking.Cold.
It was a slip. She didn't mean to just put this out there. It's not like I thought she was an awesome human being anymore, but this is somehow over the edge sick. Like, idk, if she wasn't my mother I think I'd have tossed her in the 100% garbage person bin at this point. What am I supposed to do with this? Not for her, for me. Somehow, I have to process this and then I have no idea what.
Somebody please tell me what the heck I'm supposed to be doing to process this. Seriously. I can't even with this.
Jesus Christ.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had something useful to say, but I don't know how anyone processes that either. You're not crazy.
If you need to talk or vent, I'm here.
She's your mother, but she's not entitled to fuck up your life just because she gave birth to you. Once your dad is gone, leave. Don't go back
ReplyDelete