This is my mother's idea of caregiving:
This is my mother's idea of caregiving:
Dad says he "doesn't think he's gonna make it" in a partly serious, partly just frustrated way about having to eat a restricted diet because he's getting a PET scan. He's hungry and he's stressed and he doesn't feel well.
Mom says "well, you could take a tramadol, then you'd be tired and dizzy and you wouldn't notice you were hungry" in this irritated, supercilious tone of voice, continuing with "but I know you stopped taking the tramadol because it makes you feel dizzy", in a sarcastic tone. See, he stopped doing what the doctor told him and now look at him, he's causing all his own problems, and, more importantly, he's making her life difficult.
Oh, right. First she said "when you say you're not gonna make it I think it means you're going to die". It's pretty obvious that isn't what he meant and, oh, look, we've made it all about ourselves. Just like that. It's a gift. But her follow-up was even better. "Well, if you're gonna die, I hope for your sake you go quickly." Sooo supportive.
Hey, but she took caregiver classes. She knows all about caregiving. -_-
P.S. This is really about her feeling rejected because she made him hamburgers and he didn't eat all of them and they talked about this last week and he said he'd be fine with just some green beans and eggs and meat and now all her hard work and proactive consideration are just being undervalued and ignored.
Ahem.
Then, there's the bit where she had to pay the bills and go to the post office to mail them because dad's not well. So apparently she decided to go to some substation that's nearby that my dad may have gone to rarely? WELL. Cue her lecture upon her return about how if you want to buy stamps there they only take cash and did we know that it was a substation and only takes cash?
Followed by a combination question and lecture about some info about a location none of us had been to, that was left unresolved. Followed by a lecture on every single post office location and how it was closer than the one we usually go to which she didn't go to. And some lecture about how the usual one was out of the way and when I said it wasn't out of the way for me because I did lots of other stuff in that area making sure I knew I was wrong. Because it was out of her way, so it was out of everyone's way.
P.S. She's wrong. The usual one is the closest, although there is one that's almost the same distance elsewhere. The third one she thinks is so convenient is half again plus further away. But it's convenient to her because she does stuff out in that direction. Oh, and the usual one is too busy (depends on when you go, hint, hint) and the one that's not really further is better because it's open later. See, it's better for her because it's open later. Get it?
Also, she got all over my dad's butt about having to know things about the bills and accounts and investments blah blah because she paid attention to something because she had to do the bills today because he was ill and of course because she suddenly realized she needed to remind herself of something because doing the bills reminded her of it it is now a multi-alarm fire for everyone.
P.S. There's no fire and nobody keeps financial secrets and the best time to get on somebody about the bills is when they're too sick to do them.
But she took caregiver classes. She knows all about caregiving. -_-
Corollary: While being a butt to my dad about his complaining about the food, she specifically made a point of saying when did you eat lunch? 11:30. Well, it's 3:30 so of course you're hungry. Besides, you only ate a quarter pound of hamburger and some green beans for lunch. You hardly ate anything. Etc.
This is revealing as to why she has trouble, herself, eating healthily. First of all, NO insight into my dad possibly craving sweets more than usual because stress eating. That's not his usual m.o. but it is hers - chocolate covered craisins, hershey's kisses, mini candy bars, sometimes etc.
Even for a grown man, a quarter pound of meat is, in fact, a serving. It's an appropriate portion size. This from the woman who eats 2 oz. of meat and then wonders why she binges on crap. But she thinks or thinks she looked like she ate a healthy portion. No, she didn't eat enough. Try and tell her that. Go on. I'll watch.
Sometimes people need snacks, it is true. But my dad is not those people. He basically eats breakfast around 6:30 or 7, sometimes something for lunch, sometimes something for dinner. If he eats a full lunch, his dinner might be an apple or a 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich. If he eats a light lunch or doesn't eat lunch, he'll eat a full dinner. That's it. Once in a while he'll get a "goodie", but he hardly ever does that anymore.
So, no, it's not logical or reasonable for my dad to be craving food out of hunger. He's stressed and that's why he wants something and what he wants is what he can't have because PET scan - sugar.
But she took caregiver classes! She knows all about caregiving! -_-
Dad says he "doesn't think he's gonna make it" in a partly serious, partly just frustrated way about having to eat a restricted diet because he's getting a PET scan. He's hungry and he's stressed and he doesn't feel well.
Mom says "well, you could take a tramadol, then you'd be tired and dizzy and you wouldn't notice you were hungry" in this irritated, supercilious tone of voice, continuing with "but I know you stopped taking the tramadol because it makes you feel dizzy", in a sarcastic tone. See, he stopped doing what the doctor told him and now look at him, he's causing all his own problems, and, more importantly, he's making her life difficult.
Oh, right. First she said "when you say you're not gonna make it I think it means you're going to die". It's pretty obvious that isn't what he meant and, oh, look, we've made it all about ourselves. Just like that. It's a gift. But her follow-up was even better. "Well, if you're gonna die, I hope for your sake you go quickly." Sooo supportive.
Hey, but she took caregiver classes. She knows all about caregiving. -_-
P.S. This is really about her feeling rejected because she made him hamburgers and he didn't eat all of them and they talked about this last week and he said he'd be fine with just some green beans and eggs and meat and now all her hard work and proactive consideration are just being undervalued and ignored.
Ahem.
Then, there's the bit where she had to pay the bills and go to the post office to mail them because dad's not well. So apparently she decided to go to some substation that's nearby that my dad may have gone to rarely? WELL. Cue her lecture upon her return about how if you want to buy stamps there they only take cash and did we know that it was a substation and only takes cash?
Followed by a combination question and lecture about some info about a location none of us had been to, that was left unresolved. Followed by a lecture on every single post office location and how it was closer than the one we usually go to which she didn't go to. And some lecture about how the usual one was out of the way and when I said it wasn't out of the way for me because I did lots of other stuff in that area making sure I knew I was wrong. Because it was out of her way, so it was out of everyone's way.
P.S. She's wrong. The usual one is the closest, although there is one that's almost the same distance elsewhere. The third one she thinks is so convenient is half again plus further away. But it's convenient to her because she does stuff out in that direction. Oh, and the usual one is too busy (depends on when you go, hint, hint) and the one that's not really further is better because it's open later. See, it's better for her because it's open later. Get it?
Also, she got all over my dad's butt about having to know things about the bills and accounts and investments blah blah because she paid attention to something because she had to do the bills today because he was ill and of course because she suddenly realized she needed to remind herself of something because doing the bills reminded her of it it is now a multi-alarm fire for everyone.
P.S. There's no fire and nobody keeps financial secrets and the best time to get on somebody about the bills is when they're too sick to do them.
But she took caregiver classes. She knows all about caregiving. -_-
Corollary: While being a butt to my dad about his complaining about the food, she specifically made a point of saying when did you eat lunch? 11:30. Well, it's 3:30 so of course you're hungry. Besides, you only ate a quarter pound of hamburger and some green beans for lunch. You hardly ate anything. Etc.
This is revealing as to why she has trouble, herself, eating healthily. First of all, NO insight into my dad possibly craving sweets more than usual because stress eating. That's not his usual m.o. but it is hers - chocolate covered craisins, hershey's kisses, mini candy bars, sometimes etc.
Even for a grown man, a quarter pound of meat is, in fact, a serving. It's an appropriate portion size. This from the woman who eats 2 oz. of meat and then wonders why she binges on crap. But she thinks or thinks she looked like she ate a healthy portion. No, she didn't eat enough. Try and tell her that. Go on. I'll watch.
Sometimes people need snacks, it is true. But my dad is not those people. He basically eats breakfast around 6:30 or 7, sometimes something for lunch, sometimes something for dinner. If he eats a full lunch, his dinner might be an apple or a 1/2 a peanut butter sandwich. If he eats a light lunch or doesn't eat lunch, he'll eat a full dinner. That's it. Once in a while he'll get a "goodie", but he hardly ever does that anymore.
So, no, it's not logical or reasonable for my dad to be craving food out of hunger. He's stressed and that's why he wants something and what he wants is what he can't have because PET scan - sugar.
But she took caregiver classes! She knows all about caregiving! -_-
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