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Update: Mini crisis yesterday late pm. Of course developed during the couple of hours I was away. Important point is that it apparently prompted my dad to tell my mom that he wanted me there today at the oncology visit. Which made it easier that I had had a lengthy conversation with my sister about confronting my mom and telling her that I was the one who should be with my dad at that visit. Easier, not easy*. Upshot, though, is that while my mom may insist on being in the waiting room, she isn't coming into the exam room. That's the theory, at least.
She's still convinced nobody appreciates her, etc. and has already been really awful at least twice this morning. I mean, does anyone have a surprised face? However, what is important is that the crisis in question stabilized so I think we can get my dad to the doctor today. There was real reason to think we were going to end up in an ambulance and at the hospital last night.
I am busy sniffing my aromatherapy things - pink grapefruit scented thing and peppermint oil thing - because while I can put aside my feelings and anxiety, I still have them. And a lot of things have gone exponentially wrong in the last day or two, which is really what prompted me to talk with my sister and both of us deciding that my mom's inability to put herself aside for anything was not going to help my dad, assuming there's anything that can help him at this point. Yeah, it's gotten that bad.
(I had to explain the word "obtunded" to my mom, because I was trying to explain some things to her so I didn't have to micromanage staring at my dad and never sleep again. Meanwhile, my dad perked up enough to give me grief about using 50 cent words (he's old school - that was a lot of money, once), and we determined that I would use the 'smart-ass test' to check in on him.
So several hours later when I checked in again and he woke up enough to joke with me about degrees, radians, and conic sections/analytic geometry (this started with discussing hours, minutes, seconds because meds), we figured this constituted evidence of consciousness. My mom then asked why she heard me laughing and I told her we were making analytic geometry jokes. She went, oh, ok, so he's ok right now and I said yes.
We really don't do this to exclude people. Like, I get why she would feel excluded, but seriously? Anyway, as long as he can pass the smart-ass test, we don't rush him to the hospital, but we'll see if he has to go there on a planned basis once we talk to the doctor.
* I came in, saw what was going on, and told my parents I thought I should go instead of my mom, which is when she said that she and my dad had been discussing that very thing. Hour, hour and a half later after taking her to another room to talk and going through her neuroses, and throwing her a great deal of slack on her control issues, she agreed to not be in the exam room. She really tried to come up with a way to argue herself into that room but I was not going to giver her any ok on that, and she finally gave way. As noted, we'll see what really happens in the event.
Update: Mini crisis yesterday late pm. Of course developed during the couple of hours I was away. Important point is that it apparently prompted my dad to tell my mom that he wanted me there today at the oncology visit. Which made it easier that I had had a lengthy conversation with my sister about confronting my mom and telling her that I was the one who should be with my dad at that visit. Easier, not easy*. Upshot, though, is that while my mom may insist on being in the waiting room, she isn't coming into the exam room. That's the theory, at least.
She's still convinced nobody appreciates her, etc. and has already been really awful at least twice this morning. I mean, does anyone have a surprised face? However, what is important is that the crisis in question stabilized so I think we can get my dad to the doctor today. There was real reason to think we were going to end up in an ambulance and at the hospital last night.
I am busy sniffing my aromatherapy things - pink grapefruit scented thing and peppermint oil thing - because while I can put aside my feelings and anxiety, I still have them. And a lot of things have gone exponentially wrong in the last day or two, which is really what prompted me to talk with my sister and both of us deciding that my mom's inability to put herself aside for anything was not going to help my dad, assuming there's anything that can help him at this point. Yeah, it's gotten that bad.
(I had to explain the word "obtunded" to my mom, because I was trying to explain some things to her so I didn't have to micromanage staring at my dad and never sleep again. Meanwhile, my dad perked up enough to give me grief about using 50 cent words (he's old school - that was a lot of money, once), and we determined that I would use the 'smart-ass test' to check in on him.
So several hours later when I checked in again and he woke up enough to joke with me about degrees, radians, and conic sections/analytic geometry (this started with discussing hours, minutes, seconds because meds), we figured this constituted evidence of consciousness. My mom then asked why she heard me laughing and I told her we were making analytic geometry jokes. She went, oh, ok, so he's ok right now and I said yes.
We really don't do this to exclude people. Like, I get why she would feel excluded, but seriously? Anyway, as long as he can pass the smart-ass test, we don't rush him to the hospital, but we'll see if he has to go there on a planned basis once we talk to the doctor.
* I came in, saw what was going on, and told my parents I thought I should go instead of my mom, which is when she said that she and my dad had been discussing that very thing. Hour, hour and a half later after taking her to another room to talk and going through her neuroses, and throwing her a great deal of slack on her control issues, she agreed to not be in the exam room. She really tried to come up with a way to argue herself into that room but I was not going to giver her any ok on that, and she finally gave way. As noted, we'll see what really happens in the event.
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