It's satire. It says so, right at the top, but oh, how I wish it were true. Especially the quote:

It's satire. It says so, right at the top, but oh, how I wish it were true. Especially the quote:

“They’re prepared to deal with bobcats and bears,” she said. “They can handle a malignant narcissist.”

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/girl-scouts-obtain-restraining-order-against-trump
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/girl-scouts-obtain-restraining-order-against-trump

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