- tightly locked -
- tightly locked -
Excerpts from a conversation:
After my mother threatened me with rewriting her will (such a threat from the last Vanderbilt heir - not), I pointed out that there were cogent reasons for not being present while my brother was. To wit, a history of multiple specific examples of unpredictable violence and violent threats directed at me. She responded to all except one with, "I forgot." So, ok, now that I had reminded her she remembered and calmed down and actually treated my concerns and reasons as real and valid. Oh, and acceptable.
Gee, thanks, mom, for having your permission to not be a focus for irrational, uncontrolled violence and threatening behavior. Also, for having a clear view of which child you choose to protect, even in your brain, because it's just too hard for you emotionally to deal with reality. Yep. Carefully edited out the episodes of upsetting nasty behavior by one party, but all ready with the threats and criticism for the object of the nasty who has clearly never suffered any harm or difficulty.
There was also the bit where I mentioned something about how you can take factual statements and turn them into rationalizations and excuses for an abuser. Or something. Because there is a history of TBI, which she brought up. There's also a history of someone not being willing to get professional help and do the work to deal with it.
Also, also, frankly, fuck that because none of it explains why I am particularly an object of the rage. So much of my life growing up was dealing with the direct and indirect everybody has to be nice to and take care of and direct extra resources to the poor little person. I mean, I know there's no rationality with this, but seriously, fuck you for threatening my health and my life, and fuck other people for in any way, shape, or form suggesting there is or ever was anything ok about that kind of nonsense and suggesting that I was supposed to be ok with it.
Honestly, I am offended that I even had to explain any of this to my mother. What's the difference if I don't want to be around him? Why is this such a big deal for you that you would actually threaten me? Seriously? Who does that? Like, what even is that about?
In addition to which, no, you don't get to decide that I "hate him" and so forth. You get super aggressive about defending yourself from people saying things you think were stuff they "assumed" or mischaracterized or whatever. You don't get to attack me for telling you that you don't get to make stuff up about me. Especially if you then use that as the putative basis for attacking me in the name of protecting him.
The pathology, it burns us, precious.
Excerpts from a conversation:
After my mother threatened me with rewriting her will (such a threat from the last Vanderbilt heir - not), I pointed out that there were cogent reasons for not being present while my brother was. To wit, a history of multiple specific examples of unpredictable violence and violent threats directed at me. She responded to all except one with, "I forgot." So, ok, now that I had reminded her she remembered and calmed down and actually treated my concerns and reasons as real and valid. Oh, and acceptable.
Gee, thanks, mom, for having your permission to not be a focus for irrational, uncontrolled violence and threatening behavior. Also, for having a clear view of which child you choose to protect, even in your brain, because it's just too hard for you emotionally to deal with reality. Yep. Carefully edited out the episodes of upsetting nasty behavior by one party, but all ready with the threats and criticism for the object of the nasty who has clearly never suffered any harm or difficulty.
There was also the bit where I mentioned something about how you can take factual statements and turn them into rationalizations and excuses for an abuser. Or something. Because there is a history of TBI, which she brought up. There's also a history of someone not being willing to get professional help and do the work to deal with it.
Also, also, frankly, fuck that because none of it explains why I am particularly an object of the rage. So much of my life growing up was dealing with the direct and indirect everybody has to be nice to and take care of and direct extra resources to the poor little person. I mean, I know there's no rationality with this, but seriously, fuck you for threatening my health and my life, and fuck other people for in any way, shape, or form suggesting there is or ever was anything ok about that kind of nonsense and suggesting that I was supposed to be ok with it.
Honestly, I am offended that I even had to explain any of this to my mother. What's the difference if I don't want to be around him? Why is this such a big deal for you that you would actually threaten me? Seriously? Who does that? Like, what even is that about?
In addition to which, no, you don't get to decide that I "hate him" and so forth. You get super aggressive about defending yourself from people saying things you think were stuff they "assumed" or mischaracterized or whatever. You don't get to attack me for telling you that you don't get to make stuff up about me. Especially if you then use that as the putative basis for attacking me in the name of protecting him.
The pathology, it burns us, precious.
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