So, the election may have affected me more than I thought.
So, the election may have affected me more than I thought. I did not handle something terribly well, although it turned out ok.
tl;dr I unthinkingly assertively called out some people for not waiting on people of color who had been patiently waiting in line with the rest of us (us= all white people) and were the next people in line.
It was the wrong way to do it, it was a risky area in which to do it, and I just didn't think before I opened my mouth. Fortunately, the person behind me backed me up.
I mean, I didn't say hey, why aren't you waiting on the non-white people, but I was, especially for me, very assertive about the fact that they were next and they'd been waiting and that was not cool. Plus, I really don't usually just mouth off without thinking and there was a, shall we say, distinct air of tension after I did that before the person behind me spoke up. Awkward and actually a little scary. I need to do the thinking first so when I act it's a little more measured. Acting purely out of emotion is not a good way to go.
Which is the other thing. I was genuinely angry and that really isn't me, either. Which I also did not like. It's never good to act out of anger, esp when the brain has apparently taken a vacation in deference to the mouth.
#iheate
tl;dr I unthinkingly assertively called out some people for not waiting on people of color who had been patiently waiting in line with the rest of us (us= all white people) and were the next people in line.
It was the wrong way to do it, it was a risky area in which to do it, and I just didn't think before I opened my mouth. Fortunately, the person behind me backed me up.
I mean, I didn't say hey, why aren't you waiting on the non-white people, but I was, especially for me, very assertive about the fact that they were next and they'd been waiting and that was not cool. Plus, I really don't usually just mouth off without thinking and there was a, shall we say, distinct air of tension after I did that before the person behind me spoke up. Awkward and actually a little scary. I need to do the thinking first so when I act it's a little more measured. Acting purely out of emotion is not a good way to go.
Which is the other thing. I was genuinely angry and that really isn't me, either. Which I also did not like. It's never good to act out of anger, esp when the brain has apparently taken a vacation in deference to the mouth.
#iheate
((hugs))
ReplyDelete(hug)
ReplyDeleteConsider taking unarmed combat classes, so you'll feel - and be - more ready to defend yourself the next time. So that you'll less have to worry about the consequences of doing the right thing.
Which you most certainly did.
Thank you. I know it was the right thing to do, it's just that is was so not the way to do it. You know me. I don't just fly off the handle without thinking and I really did. I freaked myself out, you know?
ReplyDelete