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Part of what is so exhausting about dealing with my family is that no one can ever just get to the point. There are exceptions, but as a general rule it is like every hated business meeting, ever. Except we can't have a time-keeper, or a bullet point or outline type agenda. I specify because the other type of agenda is frequently over abundant. Some of them also have an unerring ability to find the worst possible time to address, well, anything. Thus, I also have a conditioned response of what fresh hell is this? any time someone says they want to "talk" about something.
Two hours last night, TWO, were spent dealing with the latest crisis (presented as crisis, may not be a crisis, but because of the parties involved is going to get turned into one, regardless), because someone fancies themself a negotiator and diplomat. Also has control problems. They've said that they think they're a skilled arbitrator. Mm-hm. They asked to talk about something, because they were considering me, half true for once, but were totally unprepared to talk about it. It took me two hours to figure out what the heck was really going on.
Upshot: no sleep last night, and once again I have to be a bigger person, mostly because I don't want to be a jerk to my dad. I also don't really have the mental and emotional energy to see what happens if I fight this. One of the other charming gambits in this family is asking you something when you're really being told. Responding as if you were really being asked gets the response you'd expect. Oh, and I did not get any of the critical things I had scheduled and needed to do done and will now not be able to do at least one of them for about a week or more.
So I got the best clarification I could, am working off my anger and frustration by complaining here, and processing as best I can to move forward and hopefully re-establish as far a distance from my family as humanly possible at some point in the future. I know we're all supposed to love our families, and be able to rely on our families, and so forth, but I gotta say, the bloom is really off.
Part of what is so exhausting about dealing with my family is that no one can ever just get to the point. There are exceptions, but as a general rule it is like every hated business meeting, ever. Except we can't have a time-keeper, or a bullet point or outline type agenda. I specify because the other type of agenda is frequently over abundant. Some of them also have an unerring ability to find the worst possible time to address, well, anything. Thus, I also have a conditioned response of what fresh hell is this? any time someone says they want to "talk" about something.
Two hours last night, TWO, were spent dealing with the latest crisis (presented as crisis, may not be a crisis, but because of the parties involved is going to get turned into one, regardless), because someone fancies themself a negotiator and diplomat. Also has control problems. They've said that they think they're a skilled arbitrator. Mm-hm. They asked to talk about something, because they were considering me, half true for once, but were totally unprepared to talk about it. It took me two hours to figure out what the heck was really going on.
Upshot: no sleep last night, and once again I have to be a bigger person, mostly because I don't want to be a jerk to my dad. I also don't really have the mental and emotional energy to see what happens if I fight this. One of the other charming gambits in this family is asking you something when you're really being told. Responding as if you were really being asked gets the response you'd expect. Oh, and I did not get any of the critical things I had scheduled and needed to do done and will now not be able to do at least one of them for about a week or more.
So I got the best clarification I could, am working off my anger and frustration by complaining here, and processing as best I can to move forward and hopefully re-establish as far a distance from my family as humanly possible at some point in the future. I know we're all supposed to love our families, and be able to rely on our families, and so forth, but I gotta say, the bloom is really off.
Blech.
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