You know how you're supposed to stop and think before you post things?

You know how you're supposed to stop and think before you post things? Yeah. I didn't. Just so you know. You can probably figure the rest of this out without reading it if:

a) you know me enough to know that blatant chauvinism triggers me,

and

b) I tell you that my mother just told my father "She probably has her period." by way of explaining their observation that I was not perky and fluffy merely at the return of their presence. Because there must be a reason! Other than the fact that I am not a Pomeranian.

So, you know, general irritation and annoyance at something they had done, which they do a lot, which would have faded away within moments and gone unremarked, turned into a fairly incandescent rage at the unmitigated insulting ignorant stupidity of that comment, which would have pissed me off coming from anyone, but is especially enraging coming from someone who is constantly pissed off about people belittling her. 

Let the ranting begin.
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There are a handful of things that make me really angry, like we all have. One of mine is the subtle, constantly denied sexism aka misogyny that is so pervasive people will swear to your face that it did not happen/that's not what they meant, etc. It is the stuff that is inculcated into every interaction in ways that people themselves don't recognize, and then are all hurt or angry or in total denial when you dare to be displeased.

You are, of course, wrong to have any negative reactions, whatsoever, because even if what you say happened the way you say it happened you clearly misinterpreted and are wrong so you shouldn't be mean and should try to understand the other side of things so you won't be wrong in the future. Please note, you are wrong. Because that might have been unclear.

Women and Menstruation:
Mammalian biology is a thing, it involves bodily chemicals which have various effects and purposes. Do not try and co-opt science to undermine a person's validity or to shore up your unfortunate desire for absolute control over your environment. Do not dismiss me as if I were incapable of anything higher functioning than a reflexive response to biochemicals.  

Actual scholars can probably get into this with research and thoughtful study, but whatever the context and origin of the idea that 'oh, she probably just has her period' answers for everything you don't like or find uncomfortable about women, really kind of does deserve metaphorical punching. I'd say real punching but that's socially unacceptable from either men or women, so metaphorical it is.

Point the first: Don't devalue me. And it doesn't matter what your context is. If I state that what you did or said makes me feel devalued, that is what happened. Don't do it again. Worry about understanding it after you acknowledge that I think that stinks, and whether you meant to or not, you devalued me and you will not do so again.

Point the second: Anger is a genuine, normal human emotion. Wherever you are on the scale of mildly irked to psychotically enraged (ok, maybe psychotic isn't normal, but something just short of that), anger is a basic, normal human emotion.

Why men are allowed to dabble in that spectrum and women just can't is beyond my ability to comprehend. It may not be reasonable to punch you, even if that's how you make me feel, but feeling that way is totally valid. It may be my problem to deal with how I process my feelings (i.e., knowing not acting on the punching is probably the way to go)(enjoying the length of this post, yet?), but you have no input into what feelings I may (or may not) have. Screw you, I feel angry, right now. It is not my problem that you don't like that I am angry. You don't need a reason, you don't need a neat little box to put it in, you don't need an elaborate construct to make the anger magically not have happened. It's called anger, learn to deal with it, it happens.

By the by, you do not get to be the only person who is allowed to be angry. Which you do a lot. Directed at the wrong people for the wrong reasons. But I digress.

Because I did not go bouncing down the stairs all perky and happy and excited merely to have attention directed my way yes! please! giggle! magic! something must have happened. It could not possibly be that I was irritated with your behavior. Yet, shockingly, kept my mouth shut and did not make an issue of it because there's no percentage in that. Ah ha! I experienced an emotion and made a conscious choice not to demand action by others to fix my feelings! Could that be discretion? maturity? I'm so confused. Isn't everyone else supposed to be responsible for how you feel? There must be some explanation - let's make one up! I know, let's go with the most insulting, invalidating reason our subconscious can spew. That way, we can feel completely grand about ourselves and our perfection. Or, you know, you could go, huh, wonder what her deal is? Whatever. And just walk away and let go of it. Because that's what it merits.

This is particularly egregious coming from my mother, a Queen of behavior that is Not OK and demands of others to accommodate whatever hurts her feelings or makes her feel devalued. But she doesn't have "her period!" Oh, no. Hers are always righteous and defensible put-upon expressions of anger at the unkind and unjust imbalances of the world! Excuse me while I go have a sneezing fit to cover up what I am actually saying.

In conclusion, yes, coming from my mom made it worse, but only by a degree, because the 'she has her period' thing just really pisses me off. Also, if you really think that women uncontrollably under the influence of fluctuating hormones are berserkers waiting to go mad, do you really want to point that out to them? Do you feel lucky? Well, do you?