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- locked - My mother, queen of the over-dramatic catastrophizers. 1) Always remember to start by speaking as if you are speaking to yourself, but in a room with at least one other person. 2) Follow up by saying, "I am speaking to [insert name here of person]". Because any normal person would assume you were just talking aloud to yourself, so make sure to make it an announcement, preferably fraught with unspoken meaning. No, really, you can totally convey this by tone. 3) Optionally, state that This Is Important. Because you must reinforce The Tone. 4) Proceed to give some sort of general information that probably has a point but make sure not to explain the point. Be annoyed when people don't get the point you haven't stated. [At this point you are reasonably certain no one has died, but you never know.] 5) Restate, including the Catastrophe to Come, but still somehow not making it clear to anyone not inside your head what the catastrophe is supposed to be. 6) Get sup...