- mild lock -

- mild lock -

I do not enjoy managing chaos, and I would be tempted to say I do not handle it well. However, in spite of hitting the wall Monday emotionally, and literally crashing/sleeping for several hours this afternoon, apparently I am handling whatever needs to be handled as well as I can manage it under the circumstances.

It's far from perfect, but everybody else seems to be having a much harder time handling their stress and not making mistakes. Oddly, this does not make me feel superior, it makes me question myself even more. Maybe I should Ask A Manager.

Mistakes upset me because the only way I see to prevent them at this time is to literally never sleep - obs not the solution. Frex, I made it clear to my mother that if my dad ate peanut butter it had to be the commercial jarred stuff from the store. Which is still organic and just peanuts but it has been jarred and therefore pasteurized. She fed him the fresh ground stuff from the coop because she forgot. I caught it by accident and he only had one bite but the result was that he lost his interest and didn't eat anything for breakfast. (I don't know how to make it simpler than his food must be cooked or commercially canned or jarred. The coop stuff is in none of those containers.)

Then there is the color coded and sorted and charted with matching color coding and time table I did for the meds. To be fair, they have changed literally every day - hence my seemingly over organization to keep things as clear as possible. Even my sister mixed up and gave him the wrong meds once. Fortunately, that was not as big a mistake as it might have been under the circumstances.

Also, I have added a few complicating steps to the whole meds thing because I am trying to work with what my mother can do. So now there are three extra containers that things get sorted into in a way that is close to inexplicable to anyone other than my mother for when she is supposed to monitor his meds overnight. Which is still better than her simply forgetting to bother checking the timetable during the day when she is the one on at times during the day. If I don't check, he may not get his meds. This has happened twice. This does not make me feel like I can leave and not be obsessive and micromanage.

Sigh.