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I will have nicer, happier things to post, I promise. Meanwhile, my mother is apparently starting to lose control over her behavior away from the house. Rare, but it has happened. I know because she said something out of the blue to me, vaguely, about something that happened.

She still is in some sort of denial about needing professional input. In fact, she's just kind of in denial, because I think what she wanted was for me to say there, there, it's ok, or something supportive or whatever.

What I did say was well, if a bad thing happened, you can take some time and go back to the other person/group and say you don't know what happened to you and you are sorry and you would like to try to work that through or however I phrased it. Basically, take responsibility and apologize and take the first step and if the other person/people are willing, try to move forward.

Her response to that, essentially, was no. Total denial. Like, she completely dissociated and just can't understand her behavior and yet somehow still thinks the other person shouldn't have reacted the way they did (told her to get out, permanently uninvited for future). Somewhere in there, she's all oh, that wasn't me. Like, she knows it was, but she's all gosh, I just don't understand what happened to me, I had no control over myself, etc. Temporary possession by evil spirit, I guess.

I know it sounds awful, but I kind of want something to shock her out of her behavior and maybe if this happens enough she will finally accept that it's her, not everyone else? Yeah, I know. Not gonna happen. It's always everybody else. She's going to completely isolate herself and it's all going to be other people's fault. She will have every excuse and then some and never, ever get a clue.

Have to keep telling myself - must get out, must get out. Focus my energy on moving forward and getting out.