It's not about someone needing to explain or justify themselves, it's about communication.
It's not about someone needing to explain or justify themselves, it's about communication. You know, that thing that keeps relationships together.
You don't have to agree with or support everything that someone else does, but the someone else doesn't get to hold you hostage over it, either. Meaning, they don't get to make supporting them a qualification of the relationship. Unless they don't want to be in the relationship for other reasons unrelated. In which case, don't use the one thing as en excuse to end the relationship, have an honest discussion and make an honest decision about whether or not to continue the relationship. Better yet, if everyone is drawing lines in the sand, try listening to and understanding each other. Work out a compromise where you each respect the other person and can both live with the solution. If you prioritize the thing outside the relationship over the person in the relationship, that is a choice and an answer. You don't get to blame that on the other person.
If people are telling you that you are hurting them, or your relationships, and especially if you know this yourself, if that is important to you, you need to consider why they might be telling you. They might be telling you not to manipulate or control you, but because they are feeling hurt.
Just because someone is now an ordinary person, rather than super-functioning, doesn't mean they are an invalid, stupid, or a danger to themselves and others. This isn't a binary.
What are you attacking? What are you defending yourself from? Is it really external, or is it internal and you can't or don't wish to see it. You can't blame everyone else for what's going on inside your own head. You can understand experiences and influences that have come from outside, but ultimately you have to figure out what's inside you and how to live with it.
You don't have to agree with or support everything that someone else does, but the someone else doesn't get to hold you hostage over it, either. Meaning, they don't get to make supporting them a qualification of the relationship. Unless they don't want to be in the relationship for other reasons unrelated. In which case, don't use the one thing as en excuse to end the relationship, have an honest discussion and make an honest decision about whether or not to continue the relationship. Better yet, if everyone is drawing lines in the sand, try listening to and understanding each other. Work out a compromise where you each respect the other person and can both live with the solution. If you prioritize the thing outside the relationship over the person in the relationship, that is a choice and an answer. You don't get to blame that on the other person.
If people are telling you that you are hurting them, or your relationships, and especially if you know this yourself, if that is important to you, you need to consider why they might be telling you. They might be telling you not to manipulate or control you, but because they are feeling hurt.
Just because someone is now an ordinary person, rather than super-functioning, doesn't mean they are an invalid, stupid, or a danger to themselves and others. This isn't a binary.
What are you attacking? What are you defending yourself from? Is it really external, or is it internal and you can't or don't wish to see it. You can't blame everyone else for what's going on inside your own head. You can understand experiences and influences that have come from outside, but ultimately you have to figure out what's inside you and how to live with it.
Comments
Post a Comment