world's tiniest locked circle post
world's tiniest locked circle post
I'm slogging. My brain is making that noise you get when you try to start a car with a dead battery. I have stopped exercising, have re-started some binging, and just generally feel like ooze. I don't have the energy to keep fighting to do stuff, and it doesn't go well if you have to apply for jobs because you need a job but you really couldn't care less about it because it isn't anything you actually want to do. I can't function in this house, but I don't have money so it's not like I can go somewhere else.
I have been struggling with some stuff that I really needed to talk to you guys about, but I can't even manage that. Partly, I'm sure, because it's horrible stuff and I feel like I am a bad person for oh, so many reasons. The weather's been yuck, too. Basically, everything is very negative and it's becoming a cycle where I have to fight to do anything that is necessary or might get me out. I feel like Sisyphus. Although, I don't know. He thought too highly of himself and I kind of have the opposite problem. So I should not feel like I have to roll a boulder uphill, both ways.
Ugh.
I'm slogging. My brain is making that noise you get when you try to start a car with a dead battery. I have stopped exercising, have re-started some binging, and just generally feel like ooze. I don't have the energy to keep fighting to do stuff, and it doesn't go well if you have to apply for jobs because you need a job but you really couldn't care less about it because it isn't anything you actually want to do. I can't function in this house, but I don't have money so it's not like I can go somewhere else.
I have been struggling with some stuff that I really needed to talk to you guys about, but I can't even manage that. Partly, I'm sure, because it's horrible stuff and I feel like I am a bad person for oh, so many reasons. The weather's been yuck, too. Basically, everything is very negative and it's becoming a cycle where I have to fight to do anything that is necessary or might get me out. I feel like Sisyphus. Although, I don't know. He thought too highly of himself and I kind of have the opposite problem. So I should not feel like I have to roll a boulder uphill, both ways.
Ugh.
Ugh, indeed.
ReplyDeleteI’ve been having a really, really bad case of “brain fog” lately. Feels kind of like the brain is being squeezed, really. Even watching tv is too high energy unless it’s something that requires zero attention to be paid to it (like reality tv.)I both get bored very easily but have no desire to do anything to relieve that boredom. I thought at first I was getting sick but it’s been over a week and that didn’t really happen. It sucks. No solutions here. Just hoping it will go away soon.
ReplyDeleteI feel you, sister. 2016 has blown large goats so far. I've decided that what's needed on my end is an at least temporary change of venue. Maybe you should consider the same, if you can?
ReplyDelete