* much locked *
* much locked *
Wow. Mom really amped up the bullying. She threatened my father with divorce. What the fucking fuck.
Wow. Mom really amped up the bullying. She threatened my father with divorce. What the fucking fuck.
Inspired by a different thread - Farfelkugel, the multilayered horse name joke in "Robin Hood, Men in Tights".
Inspired by a different thread - Farfelkugel, the multilayered horse name joke in "Robin Hood, Men in Tights". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLtk_VfbKzU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLtk_VfbKzU
long blink blinkity blinkity Oh, for fuck's sake.
ReplyDeleteGreat galloping globs of heavenly horseshit.
ReplyDeleteFollowed by I'll be back after I run some errands so you should think of someplace nice we could go for a ride since it's a nice day out.
ReplyDeleteHand to god.
Dad and I are both in shock. He said he feels like he's gone through the looking-glass.
...
ReplyDeleteI almost said something to him about melon melon melon out of cheese redo from start, but he isn't familiar with Pratchett.
ReplyDeleteI think he may get it even if he doesn't know the reference. It's so very perfectly applicable.
ReplyDeleteThis seems like a weird question, but has she been to see a doctor lately and/or gotten a neurological check up? I dunno what her level of crazy was before, but this seems excessive.
ReplyDeleteI have seen this kind of stress-weirdness happen to others close to me - there was strong denial that there was anything wrong with them, that we were the ones who were acting all weird and saying weird shit. My therapist could only recommend that I not get pulled into their crazy, not escalate their irrational arguments, etc.
ReplyDeleteMan, Annette, does that sound verbatim - she's the one who bends over backwards, she's the one who tries, she's a good person; other people need help, other people need to talk to someone. And, yes, pretty much the only way to deal is not to get pulled into it. That semi-manages it.
ReplyDeleteHowever, she is pushing certain buttons on my dad very, very hard. I don't know how to put this without talking out of turn, but I guess I'd approximate this with if someone came out of an active combat zone, especially if they had PTSD, it would probably not be a good idea to throw things at them or make loud noises around them.
When she threw the phone last night, she threw it on the floor near, but not at, my father. When I started talking to him more than an hour after the actual phone throwing, I went to give him a hug and he very quietly and carefully said don't touch me. It's been a long time, but I know what that is and I immediately put a good 5-6 feet between us and said oops, sorry, and let him do some deep breathing. Now that I think about it, I think I put a chair between us, as well. He's never done anything because he makes very conscious choices not to, but there's an instinctive level of clue that is operative and I'm just now realizing the chair in recalling.
My mother isn't stupid. She knows this, and yet she keeps pushing this line. Frankly, I am beginning to wonder if she isn't subconsciously trying to goad him into doing something. There's only so much self-control in the world.
We were talking today after he saw the doctor, and we managed a little humor by saying if you poke bear, bear poke you, but it really isn't funny.
Stefanie, it is excessive. She has always had throwing things moments and dumping water on people moments and hissy fit moments that somehow were somebody's fault other than hers (iirc, they may have been nobody's fault, or there actually may never have been anything other than in her mind). They were not frequent.
ReplyDeleteWhen my dad was so sick he ended up in hospice, she really started this more frequent, more extreme thing, although this has gone further than anything she's done before. I kinda feel like this is a the more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers kind of deal. Like, the more out of control she feels, the more controlling she gets.
She resists going to the doctor. Even when my dad was in hospice, she fought doing anything to take care of herself. She took medication the doctor gave her once, and she actually got a decent amount of sleep. From which she concluded she would never take it again because something might happen, etc. Iow, she couldn't risk not being in total control of every single minute. She has categorically refused to speak to anyone and can rationalize that to a fare-thee-well.
She had the flu last week into this week, and she wasn't even going to call the doctor, even after she had a legit fever and I told her there was a regional alert about an outbreak of flu in this area. Of course this morning she tells me how she talked to her friend who told her about the flu cases in the hospital (headdesk). Seriously, it is amazing I am still able to convince myself that I am probably sane.
She did go to the doctor a few weeks ago because she was having a lot of physical problems that are probably 90% due to stress. But she's not physically ill, so she's fine. It's all fine. Everything's fine.
Sigh.
Yeah, that's about what I imagined :-/ I'm so sorry
ReplyDelete"the more out of control she feels, the more controlling she gets"
ReplyDelete...yes, that's how it works. I'm so sorry you have to live next to the implosion.