I left the house to do something related to having a future, and I came back and was feeling pretty good.
I left the house to do something related to having a future, and I came back and was feeling pretty good.
WIthin 5 minutes of entering the house, my mother started calling me on the intercom feature of the house phone. And kept letting it ring. Like that was going to fix the fact that I wasn't answering the phone. For 30-60 seconds, she just kept letting it ring. As it happens I was doing fun things like changing my clothes and checking my phone for messages and calling back and answering those messages, but none of that matters. Because if I don't answer the phone in the first 10-15 seconds, I'm not answering it. And if you can sit on the phone while it keeps endlessly ringing, nobody's dead and it's not an emergency.
2 minutes later I'm going downstairs to get a glass of water, because no glasses upstairs, and she's in the kitchen on the phone trying to intercom me again. Seriously? It would kill you to either wait, or if you're in such a big hurry, just go? So now I'm irritated. And am not in the right frame of mind to graciously accept an invitation to oh, hey, we're going to lunch RIGHT NOW. Not in the right frame of mind to say no graciously, either. Did not say (redacted), however. Do I get half an #adulting point for that?
My job is not to sit around (redacted) waiting for you to graciously include me in your last (redacted) minute decisions and plans. And you really need to learn that there is never going to be any secondary gain for you in doing me a favor by inviting me at your convenience with your control and requiring my answer to be in a certain form. Because (redacted), that's why.
P.S. It occurs to me that the assumption that I do nothing and have nothing to do and should be immediately available whenever, for whatever, etc.
a) triggers all the ptsd of carrying around a pager on call - seriously, there's actual pressure and expectations with that and it's like getting poked with a stick, something to which I've apparently become hyper-responsive, rather than habituated.
b) is another one of her unconscious passive aggressive ways of undermining any attempt to get out of here, because I'm somehow ungracious since I have no commitments, etc. Iow, she's doing everything possible without even planning to to undermine me mentally and emotionally. How twisted can psychology get?
So, I guess getting pissed off is a valid response, then. Well that makes it all better. Wait. Nope. Not. (redacted) Possibly (redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted).
WIthin 5 minutes of entering the house, my mother started calling me on the intercom feature of the house phone. And kept letting it ring. Like that was going to fix the fact that I wasn't answering the phone. For 30-60 seconds, she just kept letting it ring. As it happens I was doing fun things like changing my clothes and checking my phone for messages and calling back and answering those messages, but none of that matters. Because if I don't answer the phone in the first 10-15 seconds, I'm not answering it. And if you can sit on the phone while it keeps endlessly ringing, nobody's dead and it's not an emergency.
2 minutes later I'm going downstairs to get a glass of water, because no glasses upstairs, and she's in the kitchen on the phone trying to intercom me again. Seriously? It would kill you to either wait, or if you're in such a big hurry, just go? So now I'm irritated. And am not in the right frame of mind to graciously accept an invitation to oh, hey, we're going to lunch RIGHT NOW. Not in the right frame of mind to say no graciously, either. Did not say (redacted), however. Do I get half an #adulting point for that?
My job is not to sit around (redacted) waiting for you to graciously include me in your last (redacted) minute decisions and plans. And you really need to learn that there is never going to be any secondary gain for you in doing me a favor by inviting me at your convenience with your control and requiring my answer to be in a certain form. Because (redacted), that's why.
P.S. It occurs to me that the assumption that I do nothing and have nothing to do and should be immediately available whenever, for whatever, etc.
a) triggers all the ptsd of carrying around a pager on call - seriously, there's actual pressure and expectations with that and it's like getting poked with a stick, something to which I've apparently become hyper-responsive, rather than habituated.
b) is another one of her unconscious passive aggressive ways of undermining any attempt to get out of here, because I'm somehow ungracious since I have no commitments, etc. Iow, she's doing everything possible without even planning to to undermine me mentally and emotionally. How twisted can psychology get?
So, I guess getting pissed off is a valid response, then. Well that makes it all better. Wait. Nope. Not. (redacted) Possibly (redacted redacted redacted redacted redacted).
* sigh *
ReplyDeleteI was totally thinking of making that a tag. #sigh
ReplyDeletegreat big hug
ReplyDeleteI am familiar with some of this. You have my sympathies.
ReplyDeleteMy life got immensely easier when I removed my mother from it. I hope you get the opportunity to do the same some day.
ReplyDelete