Great Caesar's Ghost, my family.
Great Caesar's Ghost, my family. I am so worried about how messed up I am, and I could not even begin to be as messed up as they are.
Directly related to the fact that people were constantly telling me as a child and young adult that I was imagining things about what people said and did and meant. Resulting in my constantly questioning myself and pretty much thinking there was something wrong with me. Well, frak all y'all.
It sucks to be perceptive, not because you're wrong in your observation or interpretation, but because people are uncomfortable with and plain old hate it when you de facto deny them their convenient fictions. Which, if you can get them that far, they will say were all to keep you protected and comfortable. Which is nutrient deficient digestive byproduct. It's to keep them protected and comfortable.
GTFOI. I'm not enabling this crap any more. Yes, you hurt my feelings, but you hurt them because you lied to me, nevermind yourself. Why do I always have to be the mature/adult and say what nobody else will and take responsibility for decisions that nobody else will make? Make your own darn decisions and own them, comfortable or not. Cthulu fhtagn.
I am never not going to be the only responsible adult in this family who isn't an asshole and functions under pressure. I give up. Fine. I'm just gonna be ms bossy bitchy in your face truth-teller, 'cuz all this is giving me an ulcer. A great big Brooklyn intersection sinkhole sized ulcer.
Directly related to the fact that people were constantly telling me as a child and young adult that I was imagining things about what people said and did and meant. Resulting in my constantly questioning myself and pretty much thinking there was something wrong with me. Well, frak all y'all.
It sucks to be perceptive, not because you're wrong in your observation or interpretation, but because people are uncomfortable with and plain old hate it when you de facto deny them their convenient fictions. Which, if you can get them that far, they will say were all to keep you protected and comfortable. Which is nutrient deficient digestive byproduct. It's to keep them protected and comfortable.
GTFOI. I'm not enabling this crap any more. Yes, you hurt my feelings, but you hurt them because you lied to me, nevermind yourself. Why do I always have to be the mature/adult and say what nobody else will and take responsibility for decisions that nobody else will make? Make your own darn decisions and own them, comfortable or not. Cthulu fhtagn.
I am never not going to be the only responsible adult in this family who isn't an asshole and functions under pressure. I give up. Fine. I'm just gonna be ms bossy bitchy in your face truth-teller, 'cuz all this is giving me an ulcer. A great big Brooklyn intersection sinkhole sized ulcer.
Uhh... I don't know how to say this delicately: You do know that cutting off all interaction with these people who are causing you this much stress is a perfectly valid choice?
ReplyDeleteYeah, and I think that is where this is ultimately going to have to go. It won't be quick, though.
ReplyDeleteI did for about 10 years and now they are in extremely limited contact. I don't think I've seen my Moms side in 3-4 years? IDK, and we talk maybe 1-2 times a year on the phone. Best decision I ever made in my life.
ReplyDeleteOther People often times have difficulty understanding these decisions and might give you shit (I've had my fair share of it "Oh you should have a relationship with your parents because they raised you and took care of you, etc etc" Uh, no. My mom ran off when I was 12 because she was a meth addict, but thanks for playing judgmental shitbirds!)
Basically, we're here and we support you and do what you need to do to keep YOURSELF sane. <3
What Jez said.
ReplyDeleteWishing you strength.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDelete