In the category of will never happen but I want it anyway, could someone please pass a law that any and all...

In the category of will never happen but I want it anyway, could someone please pass a law that any and all campaigning, fundraising, public speculation, posturing, news coverage, etc. relating to Presidential elections may not, will not, and cannot start prior to May 1 of the year prior to the election date. That's a year and a half*. Surely you can annoy, harangue, and waste enough tax-payer/citizen time and money in 18 months to satisfy even major political animals' narcissism, egoism, and power-grubbbing urges. I don't want to hear any of it anymore. Is even one full percent of it substantive? Just shut-up already.

*I would say one year, because, Eru, that should be enough, but even I know that won't leave them enough time to get all the orders printed at Kinkos/FedEx.