I posted a bit more detail elsewhere about the creeper business, to which I've gotten a lot of sensible and...
I posted a bit more detail elsewhere about the creeper business, to which I've gotten a lot of sensible and supportive replies. They also asked intelligent questions, which then prompted a lot of internet reading. All of the answers, descriptions, explanations, etc. are out there. And yet.
Therefore, I've been thinking, and this is what I think:
This behavior is predatory, the responsibility of the predator, and nobody is that socially inept, or clueless, nor does having Aspergers or Autism excuse you (per people with said conditions, as well as professionals). It's never an accident, it is always about control, and it is almost always deliberately manipulative. Narcissism is also not an excuse. In fact, it makes you more dangerous and in need of professional help, should such be of any benefit, which it often is not.
Now that I've read up on the latest unreal and egregious behaviors that have been documented over the last several years in the con community, I'd like to add that these people don't get better. Abusers always say they're sorry. Because it's about them, not the person they hurt. If you have investigated and there is enough information to give credibility to the complaints filed against them, BAN THEM. Do not only ban the non-famous people and just temporarily suspend the famous ones. Because then you are an enabler and you are making this behavior ok as long as nobody can make it stick. I'm very much with the people who say protect the victim, not the perpetrator. Which again leads to guess who should not be allowed to show up, nevermind participate.
There's excellent stuff out there about this, that it includes men/women/however you wish to be designated, but noting the disproportionate men creeping on women. It says all of this and more. And it's beyond credibility that we still have to support each other and convince ourselves that we are not crazy, that we are not at fault, that it was not 'just a misunderstanding' or 'an accident'. We could fertilize whole planets with that stuff.
#youmaynottouchme #notevenifyouask #yesyouareacreeper #appropriatelyangry
Therefore, I've been thinking, and this is what I think:
This behavior is predatory, the responsibility of the predator, and nobody is that socially inept, or clueless, nor does having Aspergers or Autism excuse you (per people with said conditions, as well as professionals). It's never an accident, it is always about control, and it is almost always deliberately manipulative. Narcissism is also not an excuse. In fact, it makes you more dangerous and in need of professional help, should such be of any benefit, which it often is not.
Now that I've read up on the latest unreal and egregious behaviors that have been documented over the last several years in the con community, I'd like to add that these people don't get better. Abusers always say they're sorry. Because it's about them, not the person they hurt. If you have investigated and there is enough information to give credibility to the complaints filed against them, BAN THEM. Do not only ban the non-famous people and just temporarily suspend the famous ones. Because then you are an enabler and you are making this behavior ok as long as nobody can make it stick. I'm very much with the people who say protect the victim, not the perpetrator. Which again leads to guess who should not be allowed to show up, nevermind participate.
There's excellent stuff out there about this, that it includes men/women/however you wish to be designated, but noting the disproportionate men creeping on women. It says all of this and more. And it's beyond credibility that we still have to support each other and convince ourselves that we are not crazy, that we are not at fault, that it was not 'just a misunderstanding' or 'an accident'. We could fertilize whole planets with that stuff.
#youmaynottouchme #notevenifyouask #yesyouareacreeper #appropriatelyangry
Man.
ReplyDeleteI want to say more, but just fuck privilege, man.
ReplyDeleteEspecially oh poor me, i'm an outcast from normal society so i can be an asshole in this special little world where i belong. Yeah, no.
ReplyDeleteI want a central clearing house where these guys names are so I can be on my guard. I get why there isn't, but I want one.
ReplyDelete