So, you know how there are some cultural (for lack of a better term) corners of the world where communicating...
So, you know how there are some cultural (for lack of a better term) corners of the world where communicating information frequently evolves into something akin to storytelling?
My dad can have a tendency to reflect this aspect of his microcosm of existence. Which can be amusing, or it can be frustrating. It can also lead to misinformation, because while strict facts may be true, their coloration may lend them to variable interpretations. He just does this; it's mostly not conscious. Like, if something is good, it turns into great. Doesn't sound so bad, but it can be a big pain.
Ok. I just overheard my mom making this big story out of a piece of information I shared with her to a friend or family member over the phone. My mom is one of the first to point out that sometimes you have to verify root facts when you get info from my dad, because his presentation may lend itself to an interpretation that isn't strictly precise (or possibly not even accurate, depending). She will tell you that she does not do this (the storytelling thing). It certainly isn't a tendency I recall in either of her parents, so not a typical thing I think of with her family (I do with my dad's family).
But she just totally misrepresented something to the point that she stated as facts things that were not true. Things she says I said to her, which I did not. Aside from her then making them sound l like, oo! big story, here! I am more than half inclined to think she really thinks that's what I told her.
Which disturbs me on two levels. One, our conversation occurred less than 7 hours ago. That is not much short/mid term memory. Or she wasn't paying much attention, which would be fine if she wasn't going to tell other people what she half heard. Two, she is telling other people who know me something about me that is flatly untrue. No malicious intent, but that doesn't change the effect.
Of course, the other thing that's augmenting the bothersomeness is that I feel it's really none of her business to tell other people details about my life, just like she wouldn't appreciate it if I went around telling people details about her life. We've had this conversation before. I don't appreciate people blabbing about me and my life. She thinks I have hang-ups. She doesn't think it's important, so I shouldn't have a problem with her telling people. Because she thinks it isn't important. Believe me, if I started telling people details about her life (i.e., things she thinks are important to her), she'd be hurt and never, ever, ever forget it. Thank you for respecting me, mom.
This makes me not want to talk to her. It makes me feel like I have to hide stupid aspects of my daily life so there's nothing to "just talk about" to other people. I do not like this feeling.
P.S. I'm pretty sure she's talking to my brother, which makes this even worse, because he's got a totally screwed up idea of who I am, anyway. Mostly from listening to my mom, because we don't have a whole lot to do with each other. I suppose I should just give up and not care. Hard to do when you have to interact with people, one of whom will not respect your wishes because she thinks they're inconsequential.
My dad can have a tendency to reflect this aspect of his microcosm of existence. Which can be amusing, or it can be frustrating. It can also lead to misinformation, because while strict facts may be true, their coloration may lend them to variable interpretations. He just does this; it's mostly not conscious. Like, if something is good, it turns into great. Doesn't sound so bad, but it can be a big pain.
Ok. I just overheard my mom making this big story out of a piece of information I shared with her to a friend or family member over the phone. My mom is one of the first to point out that sometimes you have to verify root facts when you get info from my dad, because his presentation may lend itself to an interpretation that isn't strictly precise (or possibly not even accurate, depending). She will tell you that she does not do this (the storytelling thing). It certainly isn't a tendency I recall in either of her parents, so not a typical thing I think of with her family (I do with my dad's family).
But she just totally misrepresented something to the point that she stated as facts things that were not true. Things she says I said to her, which I did not. Aside from her then making them sound l like, oo! big story, here! I am more than half inclined to think she really thinks that's what I told her.
Which disturbs me on two levels. One, our conversation occurred less than 7 hours ago. That is not much short/mid term memory. Or she wasn't paying much attention, which would be fine if she wasn't going to tell other people what she half heard. Two, she is telling other people who know me something about me that is flatly untrue. No malicious intent, but that doesn't change the effect.
Of course, the other thing that's augmenting the bothersomeness is that I feel it's really none of her business to tell other people details about my life, just like she wouldn't appreciate it if I went around telling people details about her life. We've had this conversation before. I don't appreciate people blabbing about me and my life. She thinks I have hang-ups. She doesn't think it's important, so I shouldn't have a problem with her telling people. Because she thinks it isn't important. Believe me, if I started telling people details about her life (i.e., things she thinks are important to her), she'd be hurt and never, ever, ever forget it. Thank you for respecting me, mom.
This makes me not want to talk to her. It makes me feel like I have to hide stupid aspects of my daily life so there's nothing to "just talk about" to other people. I do not like this feeling.
P.S. I'm pretty sure she's talking to my brother, which makes this even worse, because he's got a totally screwed up idea of who I am, anyway. Mostly from listening to my mom, because we don't have a whole lot to do with each other. I suppose I should just give up and not care. Hard to do when you have to interact with people, one of whom will not respect your wishes because she thinks they're inconsequential.
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