Things which are hard: unpredictable (bad) side effects from things which should be innocuous.
Things which are hard: unpredictable (bad) side effects from things which should be innocuous.
Things which are harder: people feeling so badly that they lash out at someone trying to help them.
Illness of sufficient nastiness can mess anyone up mentally and emotionally, or even actively change their mental and emotional state, even if it's only temporary.
The doctor said to use something to treat the side effects of something else, and the pharmacist said it was not something that should have caused any problems, but the minute my dad took it, it made him sick. Of course, he's been resisting taking more and more things until he is so miserable he kind of gives up. Which means my mom is frequently put in the position of having to encourage him to try to take things. Which she really does try not to do very often.
Thing is, my dad finally took the something in question, completely outside of anyone saying anything to him, promptly got sick, and told my mom it was her fault for pressuring him into taking it. So I'm trying to tell my dad that this had nothing to do with my mom, that he was there when the doctor said to take it, and my mom had checked with the pharmacist and they said this shouldn't have happened.
And I'm telling my mom it has nothing to do with her, she isn't killing my dad (a comment they both made separately), which she knows, but still. And I know about mental and emotional status changes, but I'm standing there at a total loss and I can't believe my dad said anything so awful because that's not who he is. That's never been who he is. And he's so sick you want to make him feel better, but you're standing there wondering who is this person?
And as soon as the bad effects started to wear off, he came back to being himself. And he and my mom seem to be ok with each other, except I know it's not like this never happened and it is taking a constant, erosive toll on everybody.
#fuckcancer
#tightlocked
Things which are harder: people feeling so badly that they lash out at someone trying to help them.
Illness of sufficient nastiness can mess anyone up mentally and emotionally, or even actively change their mental and emotional state, even if it's only temporary.
The doctor said to use something to treat the side effects of something else, and the pharmacist said it was not something that should have caused any problems, but the minute my dad took it, it made him sick. Of course, he's been resisting taking more and more things until he is so miserable he kind of gives up. Which means my mom is frequently put in the position of having to encourage him to try to take things. Which she really does try not to do very often.
Thing is, my dad finally took the something in question, completely outside of anyone saying anything to him, promptly got sick, and told my mom it was her fault for pressuring him into taking it. So I'm trying to tell my dad that this had nothing to do with my mom, that he was there when the doctor said to take it, and my mom had checked with the pharmacist and they said this shouldn't have happened.
And I'm telling my mom it has nothing to do with her, she isn't killing my dad (a comment they both made separately), which she knows, but still. And I know about mental and emotional status changes, but I'm standing there at a total loss and I can't believe my dad said anything so awful because that's not who he is. That's never been who he is. And he's so sick you want to make him feel better, but you're standing there wondering who is this person?
And as soon as the bad effects started to wear off, he came back to being himself. And he and my mom seem to be ok with each other, except I know it's not like this never happened and it is taking a constant, erosive toll on everybody.
#fuckcancer
#tightlocked
One of the things for which I bless the medical team that took care of Grandpa in his last months was their blanket offering of antidepressants to EVERYONE involved. Because the situation sucks in all the ways, and any help is worth trying.
ReplyDelete((hugs))